


The Jungle Book

by anchvrdown, pagodacom



Series: One Shots With Broccoli and Lil-Bag [1]
Category: All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Everyone is an amimal (literally), M/M, The Jungle Book - Freeform, Tree Nymph People Things, except pete and patrick, other than that no triggers, there is a mention of weed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 04:28:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6785215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anchvrdown/pseuds/anchvrdown, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pagodacom/pseuds/pagodacom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick Stump is a lonely boy who happened who happened to wander into the forest and meet some less then savory characters. And a tree, don't forget the tree.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Jungle Book

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story written by pagodacom (Broccoli) and Lily/bandsarebad Lily (Lil-Bag) about the members of various bands that we both happen to like. This is a joke and not intended to be taken seriously. 
> 
> All of the one-shots in this series were originally posted on wattpad on Lily's account (coldheartedweirdo) so go check them out there if you have wattpad.
> 
> This story is loosely based off of The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling.
> 
> Characters based on The Jungle Book are:  
> Mowgli - Patrick Stump  
> Baloo - Jack Barakat  
> Shere Khan - Brendon Urie  
> Kaa - Joe Trohman

Patrick didn’t know what he was doing. A young boy dressed in nothing but a loincloth wandering alone through the jungle, he couldn’t have been safe at all. And Jack Barakat the bear was going to make sure that Patrick wasn’t safe. Jack was a sexually frustrated creature, and had been like this ever since his bear-friend Alex had been killed in an accident involving some weed, some fangs and a monkey or four. 

Jack the bear approached Patrick, causing the human boy to jump in fear.

“W-what do you want?” Patrick said, face paling out of fear.

“Hellloooo! What a ruude greeting! Don’t you have anything nicer to say?” Patrick really didn’t know what to say to the creepy bear. 

“Sorry, I just want-” Patrick tried to speak, but was interrupted.

“Don’t you just want to hang out with your best friend Jack?” Patrick didn’t know that he had a best friend Jack, and backed up into a tree in fear of the bear who apparently was his best friend. The tree smiled. 

“Um, well…” Patrick stuttered. His whole life consisted of wandering around the jungle, so he knew that a bear wasn’t the worst animal he could be spending some time with. 

“Let’s go do…. something!” Jack announced, pulling Patrick out of his thoughts and smiling widely at the small boy. 

After thinking about it for a moment, Patrick agreed, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do. As the pair walked away, the tree frowned, Patrick wasn’t pressing his butt up against him anymore, and that was a true travesty. As Patrick reluctantly followed Jack through the trees, both creatures leapt into each other's arms with fear bubbling in their hearts as a tiger stalked towards them. 

Brendon was a widely hated cat, because he was basically evil and had driven three loveable wolves, Jon, Spencer and Ryan out of the jungle. Everyone missed them, but they wouldn’t return unless Brendon was dead. But Brendon didn’t want to join Alex in hell, instead he wanted to join Patrick’s hips in purgatory. Purgatory was always a relieved concept to Brendon, as he thought that purgatory was just a waiting room for heaven, which seemed pretty fucking boring, but better than hell. However, what Brendon didn’t know was that even if he did somehow manage to get into purgatory, he had absolutely no chance of getting into heaven, that cat was on the highway straight to hell. 

Brendon stopped for a second, surveying the two creatures in front of him. The bear looked like it would make Ta nice meal. Brendon slowly licked his lips, and Jack and Patrick took that as a cue to try to make a run for it. Unfortunately, both Patrick and Jack sprinted in different directions before Brendon snagged his claw onto Patrick’s loincloth and Patrick screamed the way Kenny Harris used to, just like a little girl. 

“GIVE ME MY ONLY CLOTHING ITEM BACK YOU PERVERTED TIGER!” Patrick screamed at Brendon, cheeks on his face blushing a deep shade of red out of embarrassment. Butt cheeks don’t blush unless they’re Ryan Ross’s and covered in milk, Brendon knew that. Jack was laughing at Patrick’s unfortunate situation and Patrick wasn’t in the mood for having two weird animals laughing at his naked body.But the tree was enjoying the sight of Patrick naked, a lot. After a minute of Patrick trying to tear his loincloth out of Brendon’s mouth, Joe appeared. Joe was a stoned snake who just wanted to have a good time. Patrick needed some fucking clothes, but Brendon was having too much fun messing with the tiny human, and the tree was enjoying the view of Patrick’s ass. It wasn’t a bad ass.

Joe felt sorry for Patrick and slithered over to Brendon and sunk his venomous fangs into the cat’s neck, easily killing him Once Brendon’s lifeless body was laying on the jungle floor, Joe retrieved Patrick’s dumbass loincloth for the small boy who was currently cowering in fear, eyes flickering between Jack, who was laughing at Brendon’s lifeless body, and Joe, who was staring back at Patrick. 

After a moment's hesitation, Patrick decided to leave the hysterically laughing bear behind, and follow the calmer snake instead. Joe was pleasantly surprised.  
“Thank you,” Patrick said to Joe.

Joe didn’t say anything. Joe was high, and Joe was happy, and Joe had company. Jack had stopped laughing after a few minutes and was admiring Brendon’s dead body instead. He had forgotten all about Patrick until he looked up and realized that the small boy was gone. Jack knew that he had to get Patrick back somehow, but wasn’t sure how.

Patrick blindly followed Joe through the trees, looking up through the thick leaves all around him, and focusing on the light blue of the sky, ignoring the one tree that was practically all over him.

Except trees can’t move. 

Five minutes later, Joe and Patrick had reached Joe’s marijuana heaven, and the snake was bragging about how much weed he had hoarded over the years. Patrick didn’t care, but it was nice to be spending time with someone again. Everything was nice and calm until Jack made an attempt to reclaim his new best friend from the bushes. The bear failed miserably and tripped over his own feet, landing on top of Patrick. Joe had a slow reaction speed, but knew that he wanted to have Patrick for himself, and wasn’t going to let some stupid bear take him away. Suddenly, Patrick was being grabbed by both a bear and a stoned snake but the stoned snake didn’t have hands so he stopped attempting to grab Patrick, because he realized that it wasn’t possible. 

Patrick had fallen unconscious after the weight of an extremely fat bear had fallen on top of him, and when he woke up, he discovered that he was being dragged away from the weed paradise by Jack, and realized that he had to do something. 

“LET ME GO YOU BIG, FUCKING, FAT, BEAR... THING!” Patrick screamed at the top of his lungs, waving his arms and legs around wildly.

The big fucking fat bear thing didn’t know how to react, and in his confusion, he accidently let go of Patrick. Finally free, Patrick got up and ran face first into a tree.

It was the tree. 

The tree from before.

The tree had been staring at him the entire time.

It was Pete Wentz the tree.

Pete Wentz didn’t say anything, Pete didn’t grab him or try to rip his “clothes” off, no, Pete Wentz just stood there and smiled at Patrick. 

And Patrick didn’t have any problem with that.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering why it says that there are two parts of this story it's because we have an idea for a sequel to this and it doesn't make sense to us to make a new story for it. This was originally just supposed to be one chapter but we came up with another idea. Whether the mentioned sequel will ever be written is up to debate.


End file.
